I’ve been catching quite a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother lately, it’s summer, it’s too hot to do anything during the day and that’s on pretty much every channel.
I caught the tail end (or maybe the middle) of an episode in which Robin is preaching to someone I assume is her younger sister that she should wait to have sex with someone she truly loves and cares about. Ted and the gang are with Robin and her sister as this conversation goes down (awkward?) and begin to reminisce about their first times.
Ted gets his heartbroken by a girl who just wanted sex, Robin gives it away to a guy who turns out to be gay, Barney – well… I don’t know if they ever actually said since all I can recall is a brief clip of his face photo-shopped into a Dirty Dancing scene, Marshall recalls him and Lily’s first time – in their college dorm, and Lily it’s discovered may have let her high school boyfriend get a little farther than Marshall knows.
Marshall is devastated.
Now, I know that most couples today don’t wait until they’re married and they certainly don’t share this intimate moment with just one person. And that’s fine. That’s your business and I only hope you’re happy. It matters not to me.
But all I could think during this episode of How I Met Your Mother was how much regret they could have avoided and what easier relationships these people could have had if they had just waited for their future wife or husband. Robin wouldn’t have had that horrifying and embarrassing moment, Ted wouldn’t have had his heartbroken, Barney uh, well I don’t think he ever said his story, but if I recall correctly there is an episode in which he reveals he once was waiting until marriage until his girlfriend cheated on him. He then became… well whoever Barney Stinson is. It’s actually a pretty great back story. Anyways back to the point.
In the end, Lily assures Marshall that her and high school boyfriend, Scooter never made it all the way and that she has only ever had sex with Marshall. They exuberantly rejoice that they can still continue to say that they’ve only ever had sex with each other.
But if all of these characters (I know it’s just a show but let’s pretend for a second) had chosen early on to wait until they were married, then they wouldn’t have these moments of heartache. Maybe some people think it’s silly, but I think the fact that Lily and Marshall can say that they’ve only ever had sex with each other is a really special thing. They have a bond with each other that they have never had with anyone else on earth.
It worked out for them despite not waiting, but for many and most of us it won’t. We’ll say yes to the wrong person, break up and never be able to take it back. That’s why if you really want to be able to say “I’ve only had sex with one person, the love of my life, my spouse” then you’ll wait until your wedding night, because you never know what could happen.
I have friends who have told me in respect to waiting, “Eh we’ll see what happens.” If you “see what happens”, if you don’t take a stand to say “no, I’m going to wait” then you’re not going to make it. You’re going to get swept away in the moment. It’s hard enough for couples that have agreed to wait, don’t make that mistake of thinking you’ll just make a decision when the time comes. Because you’ll make the easy decision, the fun caught-in-the-moment decision and later – well later you can honestly regret it.
For Christians – who this blog is mainly for, the Bible is clear that we are to wait until marriage,
“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7:1-2
God created this act to be purely between a husband and a wife, to bring them together in the closest of bonds. Do you really want to have bonded in the most intimate of ways with someone who is not your husband or wife? Does it not take away from that special bond between the spouses? I think it does.
I honestly and with all my heart, well I know God knows best and I believe that’s why He warns in the Bible for us to wait until marriage. It will save us a whole lot of heartbreak and hurt. He loves you and doesn’t want you to have to experience that pain.
So, that’s my opinion on the subject. Even without the Biblical reasons for waiting until marriage, I’ve seen too many girls crying in the bathroom over giving it all up to boys who they’ll never see again, I’ve experienced the pain of rejection and break ups and I cannot even imagine how much worse I’d have been if I had slept with those people. As if breakups didn’t already feel like you just lost a piece of yourself, if you’ve had sex with that person I can’t even imagine what a larger piece of self you’d feel lost.
So Christians and maybe some hopeless romantics, waiting for marriage is the easiest way to protect your heart, obey God and have the closest bond you’ve ever had with anyone, only with your husband or wife; and that is worth waiting for.
For more reasons to wait until you’re married, check out this article by Fox News’ Steven Crowder.